My Place: Chapter 1

Ok guys, I’m putting this out there. The first chapter of the novel I’m trying to write. I need feedback, opinions etc on whether it’s readable, relatable and entertaining enough to keep going with the story.

The book is about 2 different women, one a stay-at-home mum with 4 children (in a healthy but strained marriage) and the other, a timid woman in a toxic marriage who’s suffering depression and anxiety. Both women are unhappy with their present situations and seek a place to just forget the world and be themselves for a while. They stumble upon a place together where they can be who they want to be and do whatever they want to do. At first this gives them the peace and identity they’ve been lacking and makes them happier, but there’s a price to be paid for this new freedom. They ultimately have to make a choice between the place they have discovered and the lives they live in the real world.

It’s kind of a combination between a drama and a fantasy with humour and wit. It’s about finding a way to balance the chaos of life with being a strong, healthy independent woman who knows her identity.

Anyway, here it is, the first chapter of ‘My Place’. Feel free to comment in the section below the story.




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Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Chapter 1

Krysta rubbed her forehead with the tips of her fingers. Running them down to the bridge of her nose, she applied pressure to the well-defined cartilage. Her meagre efforts to ease the throbbing headache that threatened to reduce her to a sobbing mess, were futile. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, hoping the extra oxygen would at the very least prevent her from launching into what could only be compared to a giant lizard stomping through the city, smashing buildings with its oversized tail. She despised herself when she lost control. When she let her frustrations take her by the shoulders and shake her into submission.

She was envious of the fictitious Godzilla, who would be terminated and lying at the bottom of the ocean by the conclusion of the film he infamously starred in. He deserved his fate, but no doubt welcomed it, for his affliction would be over and his frustrations would be at an end. Krysta on the other hand had to continue living in the aftermath of her rampage and not only apologise for her blatant disregard for others property and feelings but face the humiliating clean-up of the debris, lying scattered all over the city streets.

She obhored this state of mind but found herself raising the little white flag to it more and more often these days. She didn’t want to be this person. She was a Mother and Mothers were supposed to be composed and full of grace and wisdom, blah blah blah. At least that’s the impression she got from the ladies meeting she so diligently attended at the local church every fortnight. To be completely truthful however, her motivation for attending these meetings was not so much the insightful advice and mature fellowship, but rather the one and a half hours of blissful silence she revelled in, while her 3 small children were held captive at the free childcare service they so generously provided. This of course made her feel like an entire shipping container of steaming hot guilt had been dumped on her head.

Krysta felt like the stuffed owl on the bookshelf in her Husband’s study had more wisdom than she’d ever have and remembering to say “quiet please” instead of “shut up” was about all the Grace she could muster these days. She always tried to be kind and polite. Manners had always been of supreme importance to her, but since her oldest child hit preteens and evolved into a verbal flesh-eating parasite with fangs, her 4 year old decided that since she’d be entering Kindergarten soon, she was now too old and wise to need any help with anything from her over-the-hill mother, and her two placid darling twin babies went to bed one night as adorable little bunnies, with fluffy tails and all, and awoke the next day as terror toddlers that could rival the animated Tasmanian Devil known as ‘Taz’, kindness and politeness seemed to be even tougher to manage than a day trip with the family to the over-priced theme park just 2 hours away. 125 pit stops later.

“Right” she shouted, slamming her hands down on the kitchen bench for emphasis. All three kids stopped their rivalry for a moment to look at their overwhelmed mother. Krysta was sure she resembled something that should be hunted down on a snowy alpine mountainside, hairy legs and all (who had time to shave), but her kids didn’t seem to notice. Her long auburn hair was tied up haphazardly with tiny tufts that stuck out at right angles around her face. Her toddlers were nearly 2 and a half and her hair still hadn’t fully recovered from the glorious postnatal shedding. It was noon and she was still in her pyjamas which were speckled with peanut butter from the mornings toast throwing contest and smelt suspiciously of vomit even though she hadn’t actually seen anyone throw up…recently…with her own eyes.

“No more fighting or mummy will put you all to bed.” Her two blond-haired little boys glared at her, cheeky smiles dancing at the corners of their mouths. They’d not taken a daytime nap for at least a month now and even though they had no real idea what Krysta was talking about, their mischievous grins proved they all-but suspected mummy was bluffing.

Miss 4 brushed some of the stray dark strands of her cleopatra-style hairdo, away from her pale round face. Her level fringe was overgrown to the point where she was practically blind folded by it, but that didn’t stop her from climbing everything in sight and unfortunately falling off, including one of the 6 wooden chairs in the adjoining dining room. Que more steaming hot mum guilt. One, For the momentary lapse in constant adult supervision (twin 2 needed a barbie doll shoe removed from his left nostril) and two, for not having the time or money to get her hair trimmed. Krysta thought she could cut it herself but figured there was no point, as it would end up costing just as much, given the amount of paper bags they’d go through covering it up until it grew back to a less embarrassing length.

“Mummy” she said sweetly “we can’t go to bed now, the sun is still awake.”


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The Institute by Stephen King (Buy it Now)


“Well the sun can stay awake as long as it wants, it hasn’t been naughty like the 3 of you.” Krysta pointed to the three dishevelled little people standing in the middle of the kitchen, a pile of choc chips on the floor at their feet.  The plastic packet were the tiny brown buttons previously resided was sitting, torn and upside-down on the peak of the miniature choc chip mountain.

“I was not bad mummy, it was Davey, he took the chocnut cheeps out of the panty.” If Krysta had not been so frustrated by the mornings events she would have had a little giggle at the cuteness and unintentional impropriety of her daughter’s comment, but as she had been dealing with 3 overactive lion cubs playfully biting and scratching at one another for the last 5 hours, her patience was as thin as one of those face masks you peel off once its dried and made your face look like a mannequin’s rear end.

“Ok firstly its chocolate chips, not choc nut cheeps and pantry not panty. Panties are the special clothes that no one sees and you wear under your normal clothes that people do see. Second, I know he took them out of the panty…ahhh…I mean pantry, but you snatched them off him and tore the bag which led to them ending up all over the floor.”

Davey, the second born twin, born just 2 minutes after his brother Dylan, started kicking at the pile, sending the little chocolate buttons dancing all over the kitchen floor. Dylan, seeing the look of glee on his twin’s face and not wanting to miss out on all the fun, starting stomping on the little buttons as they whizzed by, in his socks no less. “Davey! Dylan! Stop” Krysta shouted, running over to the two boys and grabbing each one by the arm.

Krysta frantically searched her exhausted mind for the best solution to this drama. She could take off their socks (remembering to peel off what would now be sticky chocolate discs) before throwing them in the wash and lead them through the maze of tempting stomping targets into the loungeroom to watch ’The wiggles’ before sweeping up the mess, or she could turn this into a lesson and give them the dustpan and broom to clean it up themselves. She would have to go over it again of course as the pile would most likely end up covering a much larger radius than it already did. The second option seemed the most likely to win the parent of the year award for constructive, astute parenting but the first option would mean less stress and anxiety for mummy. Oh, come on, who was she kidding? There was only one option she would be likely to take on a day like this. “Chloe, go put the Wiggles on Netflix please.”

She bent down to take Dylan’s socks off as Chloe scurried into the living room as speedily as her little legs could carry her. Dylan squealed at the top of his lungs as Krysta attempted to remove his chocolate coated tootsie coverings, stomping his feet in a defiant rendition of ‘river dance’, sending more choc chips flying in all directions. Of course, she had to let go of Davey’s arm to take care of Dylan’s socks, so Davey immediately bent down to pick up several choc chips and put them in his mouth. Krysta ignored him, thinking a few wouldn’t hurt as it would keep him occupied while she sorted out the sock situation.

As Krysta pulled off the second sock she heard Chloe yell from the living room. “Muuuummyyy! I can’t find the mote”

“Look on the couch Chloe”

“S’not there”

“What about under the couch?”

“Nuh uh”

“Ahhh, just push the buttons on the TV”

“What one makes the channel be dif-a-runt?”

Krysta sighed, lifted Dylan (still kicking) to her side, wincing as her back twinged. It was that old familiar sciatic nerve that hadn’t been right since her first pregnancy. It seemed her lower back was always aching from the endless bending over to either pick up a child or clean up the trail of chaos they left behind them everywhere they went, but every now and then a shooting pain was added to the discomfort that she’d learned to soldier through. She hurried into the living room, placed toddler one on the couch and frantically searched the entire living room for the TV remote, keeping in mind that the longer it took to find, the more likely toddler one would climb off the couch and return to the kitchen and toddler two would be doing goodness knows what with his unsupervised freedom.

“Uh huh” Krysta yanked the remote from the crowded toy box in the corner of the room along with a half-eaten LCM bar. Krysta sighed once more as she felt the stickiness of her fingers, matching only that of the TV remote. She took a mental note of needing to clean it later in the day and handed it to Chloe just as Dylan slid off the couch and ran in the direction of the kitchen. She returned said toddler to the couch as “toot toot chugga chugga big red car” filled the room in melodious tones and the two children in the living room became entranced to the hypnotizing sounds and images on the screen.

Returning to the kitchen with trepidatious concern at what she might find, she was pleasantly surprised to see Davey still in the middle of the room eating choc chips from a tiny pile in his hand. There was chocolate covering both his little paws but on the positive side there was abundantly fewer chocolate chips on the floor to clean up. Once she’d wiped clean Davey’s hands and face (despite his violent protesting), as well as changed his entire chocolate stained outfit, Krysta deposited toddler two in the living room with both her other mesmerised offspring.

Foolishly she anticipated at least 5 minutes of uninterrupted time to clean up the mess in the kitchen. She emerged from the laundry room, broom in hand to find Davey, now on a sugar high, dancing around the kitchen, kicking chocolate chips in his fresh clean socks. It was at this point she wished she’d been born an octopus, with eight hands to handle all the work motherhood threw her way on a daily basis.

She wanted to cry, surely it wasn’t meant to be this hard, how did other mums do it? How did the other mums at the ladies meeting always look so together, so organised and well-groomed like they’d actually managed to get more than 60 seconds in the bathroom alone? Krysta seriously felt like a total failure as a mum. She was sure that by the time her kids grew up they would end up either meeting her weekly from the other side of a bullet proof plastic screen, their only form of communication being the telephones on either side, or they’d all be full-time managers at various fast food chains around the country, only coming home to borrow cash for their out of control comfort-eating habits.

Her head started throbbing once more as she realised two hours had already passed since the chocolate chip incident had begun and she was now 5 minutes late in picking up her 11-year-old daughter, Mia from school. So, began the frantic endeavour to wrangle 3 children into the car and away from their various life-threateningly important activities. Several painful minutes and a dozen bribery biscuits later, Krysta finally had three kids in the car and was on her way to the school to pick up her pre-teen who would more than likely be sulking at the parent pick up bay because she had to spend 20 boring minutes waiting alone, without her friends or a phone, like all her friends had, to keep her occupied.


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Postscript by Cecelia Ahern (Buy it now)


***

The end of the day couldn’t come soon enough. Unfortunately, there was still a good 4 hours at least until her day ended and she’d have a chance to sit down and breathe. It was now 5.30pm and Krysta’s husband Peter arrived home just as she was finally sweeping up the last of the chocolate chips from the kitchen floor. She’d managed to stop and do the grocery shopping, help Mia with her homework, change the twins nappies (twice, as they both had a habit of saving no. 2’s for fresh clean Huggies) pay 3 bills online and hang out a load of washing since doing the school run, but still hadn’t managed to get the dishes done, clean the kitchen or get dinner in the oven.

Peter dumped his laptop bag, keys and wallet on the dining table Krysta had cleared off just 10 minutes earlier and walked over for a kiss. Krysta gave him a quick peck and returned to the sweeping, trying to push down the frustration at his lack of consideration at how hard it was to get time to clear the table for dinner let alone doing it twice in the space of half an hour. “How was your day?” She asked in good wife 101 fashion.

“Yeah not bad, we had to rewrite a whole section of the magazine due to computer problems, so I had to work through my lunch break and eat at my desk, but otherwise it was just the same, same.”

Krysta realised that she’d completely forgotten to have lunch. She glanced over at the island bench where two pieces of bread sat on the well-used chopping board that she’d taken out to prepare a sandwich on, after making sure the kids were all fed. That was when the chocolate chip incident had begun. She’d been ignoring the grumbly sickly feeling in her stomach all afternoon, thinking it was stress and it would go away once she had a chance to rest. It then occurred to her that the headache she’d had all day wasn’t just tension but most likely dehydration since she’d had all of half a cup of water all day.

“At least you had lunch” she said in an exasperated tone, bending down to sweep the pile of dirt and chocolate buttons into the dustpan with the little brush. The same little brush she’d rescued from the toilet not two days earlier and washed, sterilized and dried before putting it back in the laundry where it belonged. She was still annoyed that Peter has used it to clean up the broken glass on the back patio from the beer bottle he dropped and then just left it out there for the twins to find on their morning adventures.

He walked over to the fridge and opened the door casually asking “what’s for dinner? I’m starving!”

“Spaghetti”

“Again? Didn’t we have that the other night?” He shut the fridge and leaned against the counter, crossing his arms over his broad chest. His dusty blonde hair, still as thick as the day he and Krysta had met, fell ever so slightly across his right eye. Once upon a time Krysta had found his luscious locks extremely sexy and alluring. Now she just felt annoyed that 4 kids later he still had all his hair while a great deal of hers was now occupying every shower and sink drain in the house, not to mention the floor of the bathroom and her pillowcase. It was a good thing she was facing the kitchen cupboards, putting away the dustpan and brush or he would have seen the volatile look of absolute irritation on her face. If her expression even half matched how she was feeling, he would have seriously reconsidered his unbelief in the existence of the devil.

“It’s cheap and quick to make so yeah, we are having it again!” Krysta was exercising all her patience and strength not to blow like a gently nudged cork in a champagne bottle.

Peter didn’t seem to notice how exhausted and frustrated Krysta was. He surveyed the room, hands in pockets, a smile on his face and exclaimed “what have you been doing all day? This place is a mess.”

That was it. The final nudge, Krysta could feel her cheeks burning with rage and she spun around, glaring at him with a fiery gaze that could melt the gold-plating off the watch he’d been given by his father on Uni graduation day. “What have I been doing?” she snapped through clenched teeth. Peter looked like a Roo trapped in headlights and gulped as he knew all too well what was coming.

CHAPTER 2…

CHAPTER 3…


 

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FROM POVERTY TO PROVIDER: A Mum Life Success Story.

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Success cannot simply be defined in terms of wealth, achievement or fame.

The Oxford dictionary describes success as “The accomplishment of an aim or purpose.” This says to me that success can look differently to each individual person and for someone who grew up in abject poverty, any and all positives in life could be seen as success. Having food to eat and a roof over your head can be success. Having a family can be success, just waking up still breathing can be a success.

If simply living and breathing and having provision is success, then how much more is it if you not only gain those things for yourself but can you can be the catalyst in providing those things for others? I think that’s more than success, that’s profound victory!

Nankabirwa Tendo Kambugu, is a Mother, a Wife, a Minister of Religion and a Provider to many parentless children. Nankabirwa’s story is not all that uncommon in Ughanda, but for those of us in the Western world, it’s unthinkable.



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Abandoned

“Unlike many other Children” she tells us “I experienced a difficult start in my Life, I never had the opportunity of having the Love of a Mother or a Father. They abandoned me as a Child.” Nankabirwa was raised by her Grandmother, in a little mud house in a poor village called Mubende. Her grandmother’s generosity in taking her in, could not be matched with her ability to give her everything she needed, for she had very little to give, even the poor called her poor. “She struggled everyday to see that she could put food on the table for us.”

Her grandmother did the best she could to take care of her but without money, all she could provide were the bare necessities. Nankabirwa was never able to attend school because there was no money for books or even shoes to wear and healthcare was something they could only dream about. “When I was 14, my grandmother suffered pneumonia, not having or being able to afford proper medical care, she grew weaker and passed on. The only Person I knew was gone.”

A New Hope

Left alone to fend for herself, her only option was to go to the Capital City, Kampala in search of work as a house maid, but it was all in vain as she could not find anyone to take her on. “I went to Christ is the King healing Church to seek refuge, it’s there where I sank into the Gospel, learned more about Jesus’ love and my hope was restored.”

While she served the Lord, singing in the Choir, helping out as an Usher, sweeping and cleaning the Church and toilets,  she met Pastor James Kambugu.  “A great relationship was built between us that led to him proposing, asking for my hand in Marriage. I said yes, we got Married and then we together later started a Church.”

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The Beginning Of Hope For Many

This new found life and love Nankabirwa found, made her feel very fortunate and it wasn’t just her life that was changed for the better. “My first adopted girl I got from one lady that I used to stay with before I met Pastor James. When that lady got sick she asked me that ‘if I die, please stay with my baby girl’ so I stayed with Winfred from 3 years old when that lady died.”

Growing up very poor and finding hope and help through church and Pastor James, made Nankabirwa feel great empathy for others in the same or similar situations. “When I met Pastor James, we went into the village to minister together but we found that in that village there where many kids who were not going to school. I asked my husband what we could do to help the kids in this village so we started to think about that.”



It was 2010 and at that time Nankabirwa’s husband had an American pastor that was donating $150 per month to them. They began using those funds to help kids from very poor families. There were 13 in total, 7 of them were orphans. “Today we run a Children’s Ministry that is reaching out to help Vulnerable, Orphaned and Destitute Children. Over the years we’ve seen many lives transformed and impacted. We haven’t been doing this alone though, it’s all been possible with the help of our Facebook Friends, Partners and Sponsors.”

Today they have 4 adopted children and 3 biological children of their own, along with 72 children in the ministry, ranging in ages from 4 years to 17 years. A lot of the children have poor single Mothers or their parents have died from various diseases, including AIDS or been killed due to persecution.

Nankabirwa and her husband Ps. James Kambugu run the childrens ministry with a handful of teachers, alongside their ministry ‘Kingdom Lighters Ministries’ which seeks to not only protect these children but provide the education that many of us in the western world take for granted.

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Persecution

Doing good can often be met with opposition from the darker elements of this harsh world we live in. Nankabirwa and her husband have had more than their fair share of persecution. All three of Nankabirwa’s pregnancies have been difficult, seeing her ending up in hospital all three times with high blood pressure and emergency c-sections. Another time she was poisoned by witch doctors in the area for providing spiritual healing to those who had visited with the witch doctors.

Last year, their ministry and orphanage was moved off the land they were leasing, forcing them to leave behind half-built amenities which they’d recently received funding for. They were given just 3 months to find an alternative and by a miracle they were able to purchase their own land, through the generous donations made by long term supporters of the ministry. Over the following 6 months or so, they were also able to finish the buildings they required to house the orphans and provide education.

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How You Can Help

Whilst they were fortunate to be able to purchase land for their school building and some amenities, they are still trying to find funds to purchase land to plant and grow their own vegetables so they can have a regular supply of food to feed the children. Costs for the children’s care is an ongoing issue. The number of children needing a safe place to live and a chance at an education and a better life, grows every day and it’s only through the generous donations of people like you and I, that ministries like these can keep operating and making a difference in the world.

You can help Nankabirwa and Pastor James Kambugu change children’s lives in such a profound way by making a donation to their ministry. Every single cent is a blessing and helps to give a child hope. Hope in the future and in a better life than the one they have experienced so far. Even if all you have is $5, $10 or $20, it can make a massive impact on a little child’s life, giving them basic human needs and the education that can mean the difference between a continued life of poverty and a happy, healthy future for themselves and their families.

You can make a donation to Kingdom Lighters Ministries through this GoFundMe link https://www.gofundme.com/kingdom-lighters-ministry-uganda or directly through Paypal here http://bit.ly/Donate2KingDomLightersMiNiStries

Also keep up to date with what’s happening in the ministry through their website www.kingdomlighters.org and their Facebook page.

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Thanks

Thank you for reading this blog. If you have a Mum Life Success story you’d like to see featured on this blog, contact us at mumlifestories@gmail.com or visit our Mum Life Stories T & C’s page for more info.

Don’t forget to sign up to our mailing list for all the latest stories, news and promos (including writing competitions and giveaways), plus receive a FREE ebook with tips on how to accomplish more in a fraction of the time.

You can read more Mum Life Success Stories HERE


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Accomplish more IN a fraction of the time

The pace and intensity of our lives, both at work and at home, leave many of us feeling like a person riding a frantically galloping horse. Our day-to-day incessant busyness — too much to do and not enough time.

With this ebook you will learn to approach your days in another way, reducing stress and getting results through prioritizing, leveraging and focus!

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Robbery: A Micro Story

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A short and sweet story about the meaningful things we allow our children to steal from us.

Fiona M. Jones is a regular contributor to Mum Life Stories, some of her titles include ‘Mud‘ & ‘Tiny Green Apples‘. She is a part-time teacher, a parent and a spare-time writer, with work recently published by Folded Word, Buckshot Magazine and Silver Pen.

She is also one of the judges for our Micro Fiction Competition.

She lives with her husband and 2 sons (aged 15 & 17) in Fife, Scotland, where she works, writes & ministers. You can read more about Fiona here, in her Mum Life Success Story.

You can also follow Fiona on Twitter or Linkedin





Robbery

You are hereby charged with the following diminutive crimes and shall be called upon to make recompense if guilty.

Firstly you stole my heart: you cuted me out and bent me insistently to your will until I found myself lying on the floor, playing with your toys and speaking your language.

You stole food off my plate. Time after time I wondered where the butter had gone—and wondered how you had grown so tubby.

You pilfered my fluffiest jumpers to make yourselves nests. You took my scarf to pull your snow-sledge. You commandeered Daddy’s watches to wear proudly on your arms, and you appropriated my pink bed-socks to dress your teddy bears.

You removed hair-clips from my head for miniature mediaeval weaponry, and ruined my kitchen scissors for whatever you were doing in the garage. You took my best silver ink-pen to write stories about seals and spaceships. You committed fraud, declaring at random intervals that your toys were having a birthday and I had to give out presents.

And, for my part, I have abstracted a hundred crayoned works of art and a hundred misspelled masterpieces of literature. I have stashed my swag in a cupboard you know nothing about, and I treasure them as mine.

Case withdrawn.


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Accomplish more IN a fraction of the time

The pace and intensity of our lives, both at work and at home, leave many of us feeling like a person riding a frantically galloping horse. Our day-to-day incessant busyness — too much to do and not enough time.

With this ebook you will learn to approach your days in another way, reducing stress and getting results through prioritizing, leveraging and focus!

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The Sacrifices We Make: A Mum Life Story

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One of the greatest things I love about having a blog, is the opportunity to share other women’s stories. Stories of triumph, inspiration and life lessons. Whilst browsing through Quora I came across this story by Almondie Shampine, a single mum of 2 from New York, and I had to ask her if I could share it.

Almondie tells of her experience of being a working mum and how her perceptions and goals changed after her health took a turn for the worst. I was inspired by her story.

As a stay at home mum myself for nearly 16 years, I have often thought about what it would have been like to have been a full time worker instead and if that would have been the more noble of decisions. Recently I’ve been reminded that every life story is different and every person has a different calling and direction to fulfill. We can often overlook the benefits of the situation we find ourselves in and long for what we don’t have, not knowing that the situation we long for can often bring unforseen regrets that we would happily avoid if we could.

Almondie’s story is one of reflection. A story of how she may have done things differently if she had the chance to start again but also, of how she is now moving forward into a more balanced, contented life in hindsight of that realisation.

This page contains affiliate links which I may earn a commission on if you click through and make a purchase. Affiliate links are how I keep this blog going, thank you!



The Sacrifices We Make

I’ve been a single Mom and sole income earner for 16 out of 17 years since I was 18 years old. I was always extremely ambitious and I’ve had a good 40 jobs, working in pretty much every field you can imagine. I typically always had 2–3 different jobs going on at the same time. This does not include my authoring, publishing, and the hundreds of writing/editing freelance and singing gigs I’ve performed. I’ve attended 14 colleges and collected quite a variety of degrees, diplomas, and certifications.

My children were raised by babysitters and childcare providers the first 11 years of their lives, of which one full-time job was needed just to pay for their childcare alone. My own mother was a workaholic and my four siblings were 4, 7, and 15 years younger than I, so the babysitters and childcare providers were random strangers with a high turnover rate. Not a very consistent and secure upbringing for young children, to say the least. Nor was it safe. Some of the providers were decent. Most were not.

By the time I was 25 years old, my daughter 3, and my son 5 1/2, I was putting in 100 plus hours a week, 7 days a week. Even when I was home from work, I was not there with my children, because I was tripling up on college classes, doing my freelancing, writing novels and continuing to try to get my books published, in addition to cooking and cleaning and trying to keep my home spotless, as was instilled in me by my mother as well. I remember my son being so needy for my attention that he and I came up with a plan where I would set my alarm every hour, and when that alarm went off, I would then spend 20 minutes doing whatever he wanted to do to try to keep him happy. But still that hour of letting me work was really hard on him. I remember working on a recorded speech for my public speaking class, and it took me 8 hours of re-recording, because my daughter would keep climbing up on my lap in the midst of me recording my speech and I would have to start all over again.

I told them repeatedly throughout the years (and told myself) that what I was doing was absolutely necessary. I would cry how hard and how unfair it was to have been left in the position of being a single mom and the sole income earner, with hardly any family support. I would convince myself I didn’t do anything wrong. After all, I’d been engaged to be married when my son’s father walked out a month before our wedding, and though years later my daughter came as a surprise, I was with the guy that I was going to spend the rest of my life with … until he determined he didn’t want to be a family guy. I didn’t choose this life. It was the hand I’d been dealt, and I was trying to do my absolute best by it.

Just because I was a single parent, it shouldn’t mean that my children should be raised on the system and that they should be more disadvantaged and have less things than other children in two-income or two-person homes. That is what I told myself. I’d tell my children, “I just need a couple more years. That’s why I’m tripling up on college courses. Once I get my degree, I’ll be able to get a higher-paying job and then only have to work one job, and then once I get my PH.D, I can set up an office right from home and work for myself as a Psychologist, and then I’ll be home with you guys all the time and we’ll have all the time in the world together.”

Two years later, I had over $20,000 to put down on a house so my kids could have their own bedrooms and never have to live in an apartment again where the downstairs neighbor is cooking meth or the next door neighbor is screaming bloody murder while getting the crap beat out of her, or I’m being placed in unsavory situations just to try to keep my kids from being without a place to sleep. We finally had a home, safety, security…as long as I could keep paying the thousand-dollar mortgage every month for the next 30 years.


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I’d graduated with near perfect scores, and had applied for a joint JD/PHD program and a scholarship, and I’d gotten 100 on my Civil Service Exam to work for the state with start-out salary at $43,000 a year, insurance, 401k, the works. Things were looking really good. My kids were happy and liked their new home and bedrooms, and I even got a few weeks home with them while waiting for the State job to start, where training would last a couple months 8–4 Monday through Friday and weekends free.

I’d always worked weekends. Always worked holidays. By the time I started the State job, my scholarship for SU came through. I was devastated that I didn’t get into the JD program, even though I’d taken the LSAT twice to achieve higher scores than average, which is what I got. Just average. Guess I’d just have to accept being only a Psychologist and not a Lawyer too.

That first month was like a dream come true. Home at 6 every night to actually be able to have sit-down dinners with my children, Friday family-fun nights, tuck them into bed and read bedtime stories and say our prayers together, and then I’d still have a good 3 or 4 hours to do my writing and keep submitting my novels to publishers before bed.

The second month, all I wanted to do was cry, because of how exhausted I was. From waking up, getting my daughter to school, the hour commute there, being in training for 8 hours, the two hour commute to pick up my son, making homemade meals, cleaning the house, getting the kids bathed and to bed, and hardly even being able to keep my eyes open thereafter during the week, to the weekends of 14-hour days with very active young ones that were constantly bored and wanted me to entertain them, having to make three meals a day and having to clean it up three times a day and constantly do dishes. It was crazy. I was going crazy.

I looked forward to the end of training where I would go back to working second shift and weekends, and I looked forward to beginning my graduate classes during the day when my kids were in school. Once training ended, I underestimated the overwhelming amount of mandated overtime every other day and consecutively on weekends that I’d be needed to work. 16-hour shifts and working both second and third shift and not getting out until 8 in the morning.


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What was the point of my children having a home and their own bedrooms if they had to sleep at a sitter’s house, where I wouldn’t even be able to get back in time to get my daughter to school? She was tardy 46 times in that year, and I began getting notices from the school threatening to take action. I moved in a friend who had two kids and had just lost his job, where his kids could have room and board in exchange for him taking care of mine when I was at work and getting my daughter to school on time.

SU came at me with concerns that I wouldn’t be able to keep up with the workload of full-time college, a full-time job, and the mandatory field hours. The state job I’d gotten was in the mental health field and I assumed it would count as field hours. How could working in a State Psychiatric Center not count for field hours in mental health? That’s when one shoe dropped. It would not count as field hours and I would have to choose between my state job or my graduate degree or forfeit my scholarship and only attend college on a part-time basis.

I had to choose what was paying for my mortgage. The other shoe dropped when I helped my roommate get another job and encouraged him to find a girlfriend and I wound up with a note and him moving out, leaving me abruptly without a babysitter. Then my entire foundation collapsed when I wound up with a court petition seeking for me to have my son on weekends, whereas previously his father had him while I was working my 32-hour weekends, and the court ruled in his favor. I had to choose between my son and my job.

I chose my son, resigned from my position with the state, and being unemployed, I advertised for tenants to rent our home. My children and I were back to sleeping on friend’s couches or staying with the tenants. I had to start at the bottom again, but I couldn’t find a job that would pay more than 10 an hour, regardless of my degree, which wouldn’t allow me to financially survive while paying childcare costs.

Work-from-home jobs were becoming increasingly in demand at that point, so I determined I would go for it. I got a job working for Sprint with $9 an hour start-out-pay that only required I work one day on the weekend and I would be home, so I wouldn’t have to pay a sitter. That still being poverty-level, I was back on the system again with Medicaid and Snap benefits and back on the waiting list for Hud housing.


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The tenants wound up being awful and not making their payments, so I had to go through the process of evicting them, and that thousand-dollar mortgage continued to loom over my head. We returned to the house after evicting the tenants, who wound up stealing a lot of the furnishings that came with renting the house, including my table and couches.

$9 an hour was hardly enough to cover the mortgage and living costs, so I was the fastest-ever employee to get a supervisor role. $9.50! That’s all I got. 50c more an hour, which wasn’t specified when I did everything to be able to get the promotion. I was back to working 7 days a week again, and when I wasn’t working the job, I was scouring and applying for freelance work for extra money.

I remember my children knocking at the door to my office, continuously, asking if I was done working, wanting me to spend time with them. I remember getting so frustrated with them and crying because the requirement of my work-from-home job was to ensure there was no background noise, and my children would start running around and playing, or more often than not, fighting, and I was so paranoid of losing my job, so my agitation and frustration would come out on my children.

“Do you want me to lose this job? Do you want to lose this house again and your bedrooms? Do you want to be back out on the streets?” I’d cry at them. Only 6 and 8 1/2 years old and I demanded quiet during the 8 hours I was on the phone with escalation calls and ticked off customers.

I worked the at-home job a year and two months. Four of my family members died in that time. I wasn’t able to see my Poppy in the hospital before he passed because of work. Nor was I able to see my Aunt when she went into surgery for her cancer, which she died of soon thereafter, because she was in the same hospital as my 26-year-old brother whom had shattered his skull and was comatose, and I only had limited time to be by his side before I had to return to work. That almost got me fired because I had to take off work to go see him.

It was my trainer that vouched and fought for me that saved my job. I was not there when my brother died, and a few months later, my 52-year-old Dad wound up hospitalized and placed in a medical coma. I was so afraid that he would die and I wouldn’t be there, but I was more afraid of losing my job, so when the Doctor assured me that he wouldn’t die that evening, I rushed home to prepare for work the following morning. 20 minutes home, I got the call. ‘Your Dad just passed.’


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When I logged into work next, and my first call came in, a customer yelling about their bill and calling me worthless after I’d done everything in my power to get him credited $120, which was more than the maximum credit we could provide, I stopped being able to breathe, my mind fogged over and went blank, and I could no longer remember how to do anything while the customer kept yelling and degrading me. It was the first time I’d ever just hung up the phone. A few days later, I made arrangements for my children while waiting for the pills I’d OD’d on to end my life, because I couldn’t even manage to keep a job and provide for my children. At that moment, I felt like I’d failed everyone.

You see, during that same period of time when I’d gotten my scholarship and the State job, I’d already been through a number of specialists and Doctors throughout the years, as I’d been getting increasingly sick. Right before starting my state job, I was diagnosed with a debilitating illness that required treatment in order to keep it from getting worse. I had finally just gotten to the point of being able to work only one job, like I had promised my children all those years before. I had no intention of letting anything get in my way or letting anything stop me.

I denied the Doctor’s diagnosis and told him I wanted a second opinion. I just never went and got one at that time, so I remained untreated, and took the risk of my amnesia and blackouts getting worse and lasting for longer periods of time.

I went on FMLA from the Sprint job, while waiting for my memories to return. Each passing day, I remembered less and less, until I no longer even remembered how to log in to the system. Per my superiors and customer ratings, I’d been pretty tech-savvy and knew how to do just about anything with every type of cell phone out there. I’d gotten a high-paying freelance job to write up a manual on the new Galaxy that had just been released.

Those memories never did return to me. To this day, when you see me poking around my smart phone, I’m like a kindergartener learning how to use a phone for the first time. I’d sit in my office for hours, for days, on end, thinking that at any moment, it’d come back to me. It had to. My children’s financial well-being depended on it.

I finally went for the second opinion and the diagnosis was the same, as it was for the third opinion, and for the federal Doctor that then placed me on total disability. I remember her looking at me and shaking her head and saying, “I don’t even know how you managed to work the jobs that you did.” I don’t know why she said that or what she meant by it, but it was the only part of the evaluation that I could even remember.

Thereafter, I began treatment, ambitious and determined as I always was. They said it could take 10–15 years of consistent treatment to get me stabilized and functioning well enough to be okay. I figured if I doubled or tripled up on my treatment and learned how to treat myself the remainder of the time, I could fast-forward the whole process and be done with it and go back to being completely normal and a contributing member to society once again. I didn’t want to be on disability, not to mention, it couldn’t even cover one month’s mortgage, let alone all my other bills.

That first year, I spent more time being bedridden than out of it, but it humbled me to the core. In a way, it was like seeing my children for the first time. My daughter 7 and my son almost 10. Where was my 3-year-old? When did she grow up? Where was I? I couldn’t remember birthdays or holidays. Couldn’t remember holding her as a baby. My kids would say, “Mom, do you remember when …?” and I was hearing it for the first time, because no, I didn’t remember. I didn’t remember anything. I didn’t remember my own childhood. Could hardly remember much prior to being 28. I couldn’t even remember when my daughter took her first step or spoke for the first time. My kids had been raised by sitters. My babies were gone and I’d missed out on SO much.

I do remember how much it bothered my son when I forgot his birth year, and how much it bothered both of my children when I would cook something and they’d say, “Mom, you know I hate red sauce. I can’t stand sour cream.”

I’d smile and say, “Since when?”

“Since always, Mom. I’ve told you a hundred times.”


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While being extremely ill and having no option of being able to go back to work at that time, I got to know my children. I learned about their lives. They shared their memories with me that I didn’t have. I learned what they liked and what they didn’t like. Their favorite books and movies. Who their friends were. I tried to make up for as many memories and moments as I could, but it was all bittersweet, because I was a worker. It’s all I’d ever known and the only life I could remember. I struggled with severe depression. I needed to work. I felt worthless, without purpose or meaning, useless, a waste of human existence.

I hated being on disability. I hated telling people I was on disability, where they’d look me up and down and say, “You look fine to me. I forget things too. It’s normal.” I’d be called lazy. Told that I just didn’t want to work and wanted to live off the system. My self-esteem, self-confidence, self-efficacy, were in the negatives. Christmas was closing in and I was behind on my mortgage while trying to get a home loan modification. I had nothing to offer my children.

My amazing son said to me, “Mom, all I want for Christmas is the first published copy of The Modules, and I want it dedicated to me so I can show all my friends and teachers at school.” Alongside that, I’d gotten free scrap wood to be able to build things. I worked tirelessly, but for Christmas, my son had the one and only hardcover copy of the combined versions of The Reform and The Modules, dedicated to him, and I’d built my daughter a desk with family and growing-up photos laid out all along the top of it. Of course, only a few months hadn’t been enough time for me to publish the books, so my son’s copy was a pre-release.

Humility forgotten, I then went on to write 15 novels the next couple years, publishing 10 of them, and checking off my bucket list all the things I’d wanted to accomplish. I was finally living my dream – at least, another one of my many. Personally, I was thriving. My children supported me every step of the way. My daughter attended every event I had. My son read every book I published. I’ll never forget – at least I hope I won’t – this one event in particular where I didn’t have enough time to be able to pick my son up from his father’s after school for him to be able to go. He came hauling butt, red-faced, a huge grin on his face, into this room filled with strangers, calling out across the room, “Mom! Mom, I made it!” He had called every family member he could to beg for a ride to get to my event and made it 20 minutes before it ended. All to support Mom.

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I wound up getting three months behind on my mortgage (Primarily because I was told I had to be three months behind to qualify for a home loan modification that would lower my mortgage), and then the bank just stopped accepting my payments, enabling them to foreclose on the property within a month if I didn’t pay them everything I owed. In addition, I was getting restless being at home all the time, and I wanted to go back to working in the outside world.

Disability allows a person to try to compensate their disability income with a little over a grand a month of supplemental income. I took the job that hired me the fastest, starting at the bottom once again, as a delivery driver this time. My daughter was 11, very emotionally mature, and independent, so I believed she was old enough to supervise herself without needing childcare and with me only working part time. Working part-time as a delivery driver with GPS to get me to-from where I needed to go if I couldn’t remember, alongside disability, should have been sufficient.

I should have been happy with that. Should have been okay with that. Should have remembered I was on disability for a reason. I didn’t remember. Within 6 months, I was working 6 days a week, training for management, and happily giving the middle finger to the Social Security Administration, telling them I was cured and healed and back to work full-time and I didn’t need them anymore.




 My responsible 11-year-old daughter fed herself, showered herself, put herself to bed, got herself up for school, went to school, completed her homework, kept her grades up. She’d stay up later than she should have, waiting for me to come home, just so she could hug me and say goodnight. There were times we didn’t see each other for 2–3 days. There were times when I was at work, hanging out with my coworkers, when I would lose track of time, forget that she was waiting for me, and I wouldn’t remember until I was speeding down the road and running through the door and throwing all my things down – just to collapse to the floor and bawl my eyes out when she’d already gone to bed because I was too late.

While at work, I would be asked to work every holiday and I couldn’t see why not. Of course I’d work the holiday. I don’t have anything else going on. Only once driving home would I remember that I had children, and I’d smack myself up the head and feel like the worst mother in the world for scheduling to work a holiday, so I’d hurriedly make arrangements to celebrate the holiday on my day off of work. I’d walk through the door and see dishes piled up, my house unkept, four loads of dirty laundry stacked high. I’d look in the mirror and not even recognize myself. Take off my work hat. How long had I been wearing the same uniform? When did I shower last? And it was a total blank. I couldn’t remember.

I could have been showering twice a day, not remembering that I already showered, or not showering for a week thinking I’d just showered. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I’d come home from work and check my email and see that I had a five-book contract with my publishing business. I’d check my calendar and find I had author events stacked up. A new release coming out. Promotions going on. I’d emailed the owner with a business proposition and had books coming in with a free-pizza coupon at the back of the book. I’d emailed the school superintendent with an order form for all these books with the free-pizza coupon to be provided to all the students in the school district where all proceeds would go to the school district for their fundraising needs. I remembered none of it.

Before I could even much figure anything out, it was my daughter’s 13th birthday. My son and I wrestled and his knee pressed on the wire of my bra while he was trying to hold me down, and the metal won out over the bone. I fractured one of my ribs. And for 3 days, I’d wake up, not remember, and go to work, and not understand why I was in so much pain. The third night, I was practically in tears and couldn’t finish my shift. I blamed myself for being a baby. The following day when I was due to work, we’d been dumped on with three feet of heavy snow. I couldn’t even lift the shovel. The pain was excruciating.

Just like those many years before, I stopped being able to breathe. My mind fogged over. All I could hear was shouting in my head over how worthless and useless I was. How it didn’t matter how much pain I was in or the circumstances, I needed to go to work. My kids’ financial well-being depended on it! I could feel everything fading away. All my memories. No, not again! Like a numb, emotionless robot, I picked up my phone and called my girlfriend manager whom had depended on me those years, while the owner had done nothing but screw me over every time he returned to the store, and I told her it was the end of the road.


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Those feelings of failure returned. For my children, I should have sucked it all up and just found a way to keep working. You don’t get paid if you don’t work. Broken bones, serious illnesses, hospitalizations, don’t matter. The bills don’t get paid if you don’t work. And those kids don’t get a home, a comfortable bed to sleep in, heat and electricity, or food to fill their stomachs, medical care and insurance, if those bills don’t get paid. It was another extremely tough year filled with illness, depression and self-loathing, but with it, my humility was returned to me once again.

My kids are now 17 and almost 15 years old. I imagine, I, like many parents, thought I would beat the odds and still be having fun game nights and slumber parties with my teens, instead of each of us cherishing our own space. I, like so many working people, thought I could somehow later make up for the lost time.

I was a workaholic. I am now a recovering workaholic. I was raised that work comes first above any and everything else, but not just any work. It had to be respectable work. A steady paycheck, so anything that did not bring in a steady paycheck was not respectable, including my writing.

Working from home, even if it did provide a steady paycheck, was not respectable. Medicaid or Snap benefits. Not respectable. Being disabled – a joke. (Just because you’re blind doesn’t mean you can’t work. You are completely capable of working a job that doesn’t require you to have to see anything -as an example). My daughter’s grandfather was diagnosed with cancer one year before his retirement. So affronted by the idea of being considered disabled or placed on disability before being ‘respectfully retired’ resulted in unnecessary hardship in addition to his cancer.

All I’d ever wanted was to be able to raise my own children, watch them grow, be there for every big and small thing in their lives. I resented every time the sitters would tell me about some priceless moment I missed out on. In the earlier years, I would have given anything to be home with them. I resented all the bosses and all the jobs that didn’t respect that I was a single parent. That would so frequently put me in the position of having to choose between my children or my job. I resented having to work one full-time job just to pay for childcare, and an additional job or two to still not even be able to make sufficient income to cover the bills. One paycheck was just to cover the gas money of the commute.

Years of savings would only account for another vehicle I would have to purchase to get back and forth from work. So, so, so many of these jobs would ask that you work 5–6 days a week without going over 32 hours to avoid offering health insurance. Not having a babysitter, not having a vehicle or transportation isn’t an excuse to not attend work. Everything I strove for was to get to a place where I could work for myself, make enough to provide my children the same type of life as those less disadvantaged, and be available for my children – while doing so in a ‘respectable fashion’ so as not to be judged or stereotyped.

Over time, it just became a way of life for me.


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I stay home now. I spend most of my days sitting at my kitchen table, staring at the wall, trying not to get caught up in any work or projects (key word is trying), so that the moment that one or the other of my teenagers come out of their room and take a break from their own things, I might be able to spend a little bit of time with them, know what’s going on in their lives, try to support and encourage them, even if all I get is 15 minutes in a day. It’s like Cat’s in the Cradle and the Silver Spoon. I have all the time to finally be there for them, but they rarely have time for me anymore.

The majority of the time I sit at my kitchen table, waiting to just have those few minutes to spend with my teenagers, I’m still being harassed for not working a ‘real’ job. Outside the house. Collecting a steady paycheck. Because that’s what ‘normal working people do’. Everything inside my being wants to go back out there and work and make something of myself and go further with my life. The only thing that keeps me staying at home and doing my work at the desk that is placed beside my kitchen table is wanting to make up to my children all the times I was never there because I was too busy working while they were being raised by three dozen other people and random strangers that were being paid to care for them.

I realized that there were a hundred other different choices I could have made. I could have easily gotten an at-home data entry job, or several of them, with my ability to type 120 words per minute. I could have been happy with selling my books and running my publishing business that allowed me to be at home with my children.

All those years, I convinced myself and my children that I couldn’t be available to them as a full-time mother until I achieved x, y, z. Now I know that it was all based on pride and me just trying to prove myself. It was me wanting to go after every dream I ever had personally, while also wanting to become something my parents would be proud of.

When it came to my children, it was complete selfishness. I always put my kids on the backburner in light of my own achievements and accomplishments, while justifying it all with being a single parent with no support while just trying to pay the bills. My kids could have run around with wild abandon and been happy if I’d just picked up that data entry job, or online support chat. But it was never good enough for me. I didn’t want to be downgraded to that. I was worth so much more than that, I thought.

I lived and accomplished every dream I ever had … at the expense of my children, and each and every outside job I ever had screwed me over, because I was constantly placed in the position of choosing between my job or myself and my children. Hence the 40 jobs.

I’m not the only one that has learned this lesson. That has neglected their home, partnerships, friends, children, for the sake of a job and thinking they’re going somewhere in life and have a purpose, and then their children grow to resent them, and they gradually lose all their friends, and they lose their partner or have no chance at finding one, because the job controls their life, and they endure the death of a multitude of family members that they can’t be there for less they risk losing their job. Doesn’t matter if it’s working for McDonalds or being a CEO of a company, they expect you to sign over your soul.


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If I had been a less prideful and selfish person caught up in everything I’d been raised to believe, I would have stayed at home with my children. I would have held them as much as possible. I would have been there for their every accomplishment. I would have praised and encouraged them to be the best they could be. I would have been there for every award they got. Instead of resenting my daughter for crawling up in my lap or resenting my son for all the attention he wanted, I would have held my daughter and played with my son without a 20-minute time limit.

If I knew what I know now, I would have accepted being on Hud housing and being on the system if it meant me being there to see my children grow up. If I knew what I know now, I would have listened to the doctors, and taken the time I had to make the most memorable experiences with my children. Something that they’d at least be able to remember even if I wouldn’t/won’t remember myself.

There’s nothing more humbling than recognizing that you missed out on the greatest parts of your life, and neglected all those extraordinary pieces, for a boss that never gave a care about your life, your home, your family, your situation, and only ever cared about you doing as you were told and being available and on call for every moment that they needed you. Their gain was money. Your sacrifice was partnership and family. But they wouldn’t blink an eye when it comes to cutting your hours or firing you if someone else comes along with more flexibility and availability and accepts lower wages. You’re easily replaceable. Family is not.

You can never make up for all the lost years spent catering to a system with promises of life, liberty, and happiness never kept, while striving towards a type of security that is nothing more than an illusion when all can be lost in a moment’s breath. At the end, it is all but the memories we hold dearly and those moments we cherish that make it worth it.

Nothing I ever did was worth the years I lost with my own children.

I only hope I can help and inspire others from making the same mistakes.


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Almondie Shampine

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After 17 years as a single working mum, Almondie Shampine now stays home in NY with her teens and their two animals and works a variety of jobs from her very own kitchen, from authoring her own novels, to freelance editing/writing, and operating FreeBird Express Publishing to assist other authors with their publication needs.

For young adults, she’s written The Modules Series beginning with The Reform, and The Schoolhouse Kids. For adults, she’s dabbled in Psychological thrillers and Inspirational works, such as Otherland, Glimpses, and Blind Fate. She also writes non-fiction articles on Quora relative to her work in the industry and other expert knowledge she’s picked up on throughout the course of life, such as mental health and parenting.

You can visit Almondie’s website at www.freebirdexpresspublishing.com or follow her blog at www.freebirdexpresspublishing.blogspot.com

If your on Quora, you’ll find her profile here https://www.quora.com/profile/Almondie-Shampine

And you’ll find her books for sale on Amazon HERE (Available in both paperback and e-book).

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Dreams & Wishes: A Short Story

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Here’s a story I wrote for a short story competition that had a ‘travel’ theme. I tried to be a little more creative than simply having my character ‘travel’ somewhere in the conventional way. It has a magical touch to it, but it’s primarily an adventure!

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Dreams and Wishes

Someone once told her that if dreams and wishes were dollars and cents, she’d be a very wealthy woman by now. Their words were intended as a reprimand, but she embraced the sentiment and endeavoured to turn her dreams and wishes into a reality, a reality that would in turn bring forth the metaphorical dollars and…

   Deanna ceased typing and peered curiously over the upper edge of her laptop screen, her fingers lingering over the silver buttons of the keyboard. Two bewildered brown eyes glared back at her. She didn’t even have to investigate the scene to know there was a pool of dark grey water heading rapidly toward her one piece of sanity in this world, Miss 3’s expression said it all.

With skilful speed, Deanna snatched her laptop up into the air, just in time to see the tiny tsunami rushing across the wooden surface of the family dining table and cascading over the edge onto her crisp white skirt. She sat with well-practiced patience as the cold liquid soaked through the thick cotton and dribbled down her thigh, through the back of her skirt and onto the wooden surface of the dining chair. She secretly congratulated herself on her wise foresight in buying child-resistant dining furniture but quietly chastised herself for wearing her one piece of new clothing anywhere near said child.

“oopsie.” Her little brunette progeny was also well-practiced, in the art of subtle manipulation, projecting innocence with her tone and evoking sympathy with a furrowing of her small adorable brow.

“Quick, go grab a rag to clean this up and please use your own table for painting next time Bree, this is exactly why I bought it.” Deanna carefully stood up, streams of paint-filled water running down her leg onto the laminate flooring, she rolled her eyes as she anticipated the half hour clean-up process that would steal precious writing time. As she shuffled over to the island bench to relocate her laptop she heard the hungry cries of the newest addition to the clan bellowing from the monitor on the bench. Frustration ensued as she rushed to get dried and changed before attending to the baby.

Writing had always been a passion of Deanna’s. As a young child, she would spend copious hours jotting down adventure stories in her notebook. She even won a short story writing competition in school and was encouraged by her teacher to dream big and chase a writing career. However, life had unexpectedly changed trajectory when she was hit with an unforeseen misfortune. Her parents, whilst on a short-term mission trip, were tragically killed when an earthquake hit Haiti 8 years previously. Deanna, just 19 years of age was left to care for her 13-year-old brother.

Raising a teenager with abandonment issues and trying to juggle the plethora of bills, including a mortgage, proved to be an overwhelming task. It became necessary to quit university, taking on a job as a receptionist at a local medical centre. A few years later, after her brother himself went off to university, she married her high school sweetheart and began the journey of family life. Now that she was on Maternity leave again, she decided that waiting for her family to be grown before pursuing her dreams was too depressing a goal to set. Balancing it with family life however was a mission fraught with perilous obstacles and hindrances that she was not confident would be surmountable.

Still, no victory could be had without the attempt. If only she could get a few hours of uninterrupted time to let the creative juices flow.

***

As Deanna clumsily flicked her long auburn hair off her shoulder and clipped the flap of her maternity bra back in place, she heard the front door open and a familiar voice echo down the hall. Deanna had a moment of panic as she scanned the room, her eyes thrusting daggers at the pile of unfolded laundry casually thrown on the couch. She chastised herself once again for misplacing the thought that Tyler would be bringing his mother home from the airport that afternoon and she hadn’t even attempted a tidy up.

Her mind seemed to be imitating a spaghetti strainer lately. Ever since she conceived children her organisation was constantly disappearing through the holes of her mum brain, leaving only the well-cooked remnants of musings about what different shades of poop were telling her about her babies digestion and which websites she could find quick and easy recipes for fussy toddlers on.  She rose from the armchair, placing her 3-month-old sleep-thief over her shoulder and vigorously rubbing his back to dispel the gas before the distraction their welcome visitor would bring. Little Thomas obliged with the cutest of belches.

“Kathie, how are you? Please excuse the mess.” Deanna embraced her mother in law, the heavenly, familiar smell of Jasmine was as strong as ever. Kathie raked a hand through her short blonde hair, revealing new speckles of grey.

“What mess?” she queried with a cheeky smile “you have a family, mess is normal.” She waved her hand as though dismissing the notion that she would even care. “Now where is my granddaughter?” She turned toward Brianna, sitting on the carpet with her notepad and crayons and threw open her arms, inviting Brianna in for a warm Nanna embrace. Brianna complied with a giggle and an extravagant squeeze.

After snuggles with Thomas, Kathie excitedly produced gifts for each of them, purchased on her latest adventure to India. Brianna curiously examined the wooden Kondapalli toy resembling a magnificent Indian elephant, but it was the traditional Indian sweets that got her shriek of approval. Tyler, having an unusual interest in music of the world, received a CD of Classical Indian flute and sitar instrumentals and some authentic saffron. Living with a chef certainly had its benefits, there was one less chore Deanna had to navigate during the ‘witching hour’.

Deanne was pleasantly surprised to receive a genuine Kashmir Pashmina in her favourite colour beige, the silky soft material felt luxurious to the touch. Deanna was not sure when she would find an occasion to wear such an extravagant item but received it with fervent gratitude.

“Last but not least.” Kathie reached into her bag and pulled out a pair of detailed handmade leather and cotton shoes in a matching beige. “These are called Mojari’s.” The look of delight on her face could only be matched by her tone. “I bought them at a market place in Punjab”. She handed them to Deanna who ran her fingers over the detailed stitching and shiny gold thread, the pearlized pastel coloured beads and sequins where expertly embroidered into floral patterns and a few tiny sequins sporadically placed, refracted the light as Deanna turned them to and fro. They were beautiful.

“The stall holder told me these shoes have the power to transport you to another world” Kathie grinned, and her green eyes sparkled with mischief.

Deanna chuckled at the older lady’s child-like wonder. Kathie was like a second mother to Deanna, they had grown close after the death of her parents and Deanna admired Kathie’s positive perspective on life and belief in the mysteries of foreign culture. Deanna had all but no conviction in such myths, but being the storyteller she was, found such tales and legends to be fascinating.

“How about…” Kathie leaned toward Deanna as though sharing some cryptic secret “tomorrow after breakfast, you go to a quiet little coffee shop with your laptop for a few hours? Wear your new shoes, maybe they will give you some inspiration.” She winked at Deanna for she knew her heart without her needing to say anything. She was also a mum after all and she knew both the joys and restrictions that motherhood created. Deanna could feel her smile lighting up her entire olive-skinned face, it had been a long time since she’d felt so considered.

***

Deanna slipped her feet into the hand-crafted Mojari’s. They were not surprisingly a perfect fit. It was a very convenient similarity Deanna shared with Kathie, their shoe size, which proved very helpful for gift buying. Hence the wardrobe shelf full of shoes from around the world. These would have to be Deanna’s absolute favourite so far. So pretty and feminine, their comfort being their most attractive quality.

After detailing the procedure for warming expressed breast-milk and showing Kathie the storage cupboard full to bursting with art and craft supplies, she kissed Breanna and Thomas goodbye and slipped out the door, her laptop bag suspended over her shoulder. She took a deep breath of fresh spring air and tried to empty her mind of all her undone tasks and numerous upcoming daily activities, vowing to give them her full attention once her story was complete.

She used the drive into town to brainstorm ideas, deciding upon arrival never to do that again, as she’d gotten herself lost and ended up circling the block 3 times, costing her 15 minutes of productivity. Once inside, she found a table by the window and stared at the passing traffic and pedestrians as she sipped on her latte`. She shifted tables to the far corner as the window proved to be a distraction.

Anxiety hijacked her peaceful resolve as 45 minutes had passed since she left the house and she’d typed not a single word. She tapped her feet on the hardwood floor of the shabby chic coffee shop, remembering Kathie’s words about the Mojari’s giving her inspiration. She stared at the few paragraphs she’d produced the day before, reading them over and over in the attempt to board her previous train of thought.

She sighed as the screensaver appeared on the monitor of her laptop, the scene before her boasting the outdoor seating area of an Italian café. Luscious green vines climbed the stone walls behind the wooden tables and chairs that sat atop the cobbled pavement. The seating area was edged with terracotta pots encasing lovely green shrubbery, and a sky blue vespa was parked out the front. The word ‘Caffe’ was embossed above the large rustic wood and glass doorway. It looked very inviting and Deanne closed her eyes and imagined sitting at one of the tables, looking out at the scene beyond the borders of the photograph.

She opened her eyes and her tranquil smile retreated, replaced with a bemused frown as she was confronted by visions of a small Italian village. Stone buildings lined the cobblestone street where small European cars and scooters were parked. Pedestrians were strolling along the sidewalks and crossing the road. She scanned the vicinity and realised she was sitting at one of the tables in front of the café portrayed in the photo she’d been looking at only moments before. How could this be? One moment she was inside a coffee shop in South Australia and the next she is half-way across the world in a foreign country. She looked down at the Mojari’s on her feet. Could the mysterious fable she perceived to be nothing more than a stall holders marketing ploy, in fact be true?

She anxiously surveyed the table in front of her. A glass of Affogato coffee was resting on the well-worn surface next to an informational pamphlet on The Leaning Tower of Pisa. Her curiosity and excitement won out against her sensibilities as she entertained the possibilities. Could she see more? Do more? There were so many places she wanted to go, so many things she wanted to see. Apart from her 12th grade overnight excursion to Canberra, the nation’s capital, she’d lived out her entire life in South Australia. She glanced at her watch, three hours remained before she’d promised to be home. There would be enough time to explore a few destinations that had always been of interest to her.

She picked up the brochure, an amalgam of anticipation and apprehension forcing adrenalin into her veins. She closed her eyes and envisaged The Leaning Tower of Pisa right in front of her. With great expectation she parted her eyelids but was met with disappointment as she found that she was still sitting in the same chair at the same table at the same Café. She wound her mind back to the moment she was transported from the chich coffee shop to the scene on her laptop and recalled her actions. She closed her eyes once more and started tapping her feet on the cobblestone pavement.

She opened her eyes one at a time and was thrilled to see the famous monument looming before her. Looking around at the hordes of tourists with their backpacks on and digital cameras and phones raised skyward, she realised none of them seemed to notice that she just appeared there, out of nowhere. The pressure on her rear-end informed her she was sitting on a cement boundary post a few hundred metres from the tower itself. Jumping to her feet, she stared at the historical building. It wasn’t quite what she expected. She had imagined it being in the centre of town, hemmed in by grandiose museums, halls and art centres with elaborate stone streets, edged with hand-crafted pots filled with native Italian fauna, the odd water fountain boasting a chiselled half-naked statue. What she saw was relatively ordinary.

The tower wasn’t as sizeable as she’d assumed, and a relatively new bitumen road filled up a great deal of space in front of the building where tourists converged to snap their own piece of history. Beyond was a small grassed area and a large hedge that separated the tower from other buildings. To the left there was a grand cathedral that appeared to be under construction. She turned her gaze behind her, observing a long row of market stalls against the red brick structures on the opposite side of the street. Perhaps there would be some postcards or pamphlets with more photographs of enticing destinations.

She began approaching the stalls, but each step she took closer became more and more arduous, as if she was walking through dense mud which was becoming thicker and thicker. Eventually she could go no further. She became painfully aware of her accelerated heart beat pounding against her rib cage as she deduced that her adventures were limited to the boundary of the photograph she’d used to transport there. This revelation induced an intense desire to go home, where things were normal.

Fear made her head spin as it suddenly occurred to her that she had no idea how to get home. She reversed back to the spot near the boundary post and tried to collect her thoughts. She reclaimed her perch on the short cement pillar, shut her eyes, tapped her feet on the bitumen and imagined the coffee shop where she’d been before her adventure began. Her heart sunk when she opened her eyes and she was still in the same place. She squeezed her eyes shut once more and thought of her home, again nothing changed.

Panic gripped her entire body and threatened to steal her consciousness as she began to hyperventilate. Then she did the only logical thing she could think of, she removed the Mojari’s from her feet, closed her eyes and thought of home again. Hesitantly she opened her eyes, only to be confronted with the tower once more. She felt as though she may throw up or faint but knew in her heart that if she let fear conquer her she would never get home.

She desperately required help but knew if she shared the incredible account of how she’d materialised there, no one would even talk to her let alone believe her. Eventually she decided to take a risk and attempt to find a friendly English-speaking ally.  “Excuse me” she implored a passing Japanese lady who walked right on past her. “Excuse me” she beseeched again, this time to an older gentleman who was perhaps English or European. He too walked by as though he heard nothing. She could no longer hold back her apprehension and began to yell “Can someone please help me”. Not a soul noticed her desperate cries, they all went about their business as though her existence was null.

She saw a young boy nearby flicking through a tourist catalogue. She ran to where he stood, peering over his shoulder. He was reading an article on Australia and there were glossy pictures of the Sydney opera house. It wasn’t home but at least it was the right country. She closed her eyes, tapped her feet and imagined the scene from the photograph. When she opened her eyes, she was staring at the white arches of one of her country’s greatest architectural accomplishments.

A small sense of relief washed over her as she felt a little closer to home, but gloom revisited her once again when she recognised that she was still confined to the boundaries of the photograph. All hope fleeted, and she sank to the ground. How was she going to get home? Was there even a way? Was she condemned to meander aimlessly from photograph to photograph forever, never able to return to reality?

Deanna supposed she would conclude the story there and let her readers decide on her protagonist’s fate. She typed the words ‘THE END’ at the bottom of the page and clicked on the save button. She closed her laptop with a satisfactory smile and swallowed down the remainder of her 3rd latte. She was pleased with the story she’d produced, it was a gloomy tale but much like reality, not every story had a happy ending. The important thing was, she felt accomplished for the first time in years. She glided back into the house and was greeted by a flurry of kisses from her darling daughter and a delighted squeal from Thomas as he realised his milk train was back in the station.

Deanna felt a deeper appreciation for her kids now that she’d had a chance to be productive. She smiled with cheerfulness and thanked Kathie for being so kind as to babysit. “You were right” she said “These Mojari’s were a great inspiration”.

THE END

 

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The pace and intensity of our lives, both at work and at home, leave many of us feeling like a person riding a frantically galloping horse. Our day-to-day incessant busyness — too much to do and not enough time.

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How To Accomplish More In A Fraction Of The Time

 

Accomplish more IN a fraction of the time

If your a mum you know all about the word ‘busy’.

‘Busy’ has become your new normal, your go-to description of your life and answer to the universal question ‘How are you?” There’s forever a million things to do and not enough time to do it in. This can sometimes be overwhelming. You look at your limited time and all the things you want to accomplish and your heart races at the thought of ‘how’ your going to accomplish it. Anxiety and frustration can often result, leaving you feeling burned out or even depressed.

Juggling family life, with work life, community life and social life isn’t easy for anyone, some people just have the knowledge and insight on how to manage their time efficiently so they can fit more of the tasks that matter into the limited amount of time they have, so they can be more productive, balanced and happy!

If you’d like find out how you can manage your time more effectively to get that balance we all crave for, why not download this FREE ebook with helpful tips on prioritizing, leveraging and focus. Accomplish more in a fraction of the time and alleviate some of the pressure and stress that comes with trying to ‘be everything for everyone’.

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How To Accomplish More In A Fraction Of The Time eCOVER WHITE

The pace and intensity of our lives, both at work and at home, leave many of us feeling like a person riding a frantically galloping horse. Our day-to-day incessant busyness — too much to do and not enough time.

With this ebook you will learn to approach your days in another way, reducing stress and getting results through prioritizing, leveraging and focus!

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